I don't know what to do.
One of myselves is so desperate:( I have to adjust myself to a regular order, to a routine. However, I do not want to live according to certain patterns of life. I know that I need an income in order to live like everybody else but how can an individual be happy when he/she has to obey the rules and orders of somebody else.
I wanna live as I wish but how can I come through in such a cruel and illogical world?
On the other hand, one of myselves is so happy because I'm not alone in life. My friend, my family and my love are with me all the time and at all cost. I love and I know I'm loved, too. Nonetheless, off and on I become an unbearable person for everybody I love. I do not want to be a cruel oppressor but I can't help myself.
I wanna be a good and consistent person but how can I come throuh after I've fought for all my life and I have to do so for the rest of my life?
Is there anybody who can help me? Or is there anybody who can help himself to solve his own problem of happiness?